what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
