Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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