Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
