i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
