i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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