I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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