did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
