Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
