so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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