We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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