she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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