As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I did not marry a roomba.
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