The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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