i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
