My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize