Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize