so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
