guys are not supposed to queef...right?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
