Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize