Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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