you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
