Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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