Your dad touched me again.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
