Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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