Kiss
Puke
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
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