Only a mothe r could love this liver
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
