Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
that's an acceptable place to lick
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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