Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
All the doctor said was why
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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