i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
