Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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