hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
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