so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
