she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
