if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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