grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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