He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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