I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
