wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My feet surprised me
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
