The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
