she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
