I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
