To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize