It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
