Moan for me like Helen Keller
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We just shotgunned beers for America
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
