so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
