On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Randomize
