I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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