I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
