I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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