this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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