mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
We don't watch enough power rangers
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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