I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
