I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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