do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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