Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
