too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
