I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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