If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Dignity is for republicans.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
