I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
operation harelip BJ is a go
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He shit in the fireplace
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
