he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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