Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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