He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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