can we get nightvision for the apartment?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
