i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
