I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
