so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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