U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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