If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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