So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize