Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize