This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
