She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize