Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
