My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
