Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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