Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
