I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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