all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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