remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
