I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
