i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
