Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
