would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Randomize