Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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