I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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