dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize