We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
