who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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