I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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