Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
